After two grueling 200k+ days of climbing, the Giro organizers decided to take a boring, downhill stage, and making even boring-er, lopping off 50k of today’s race, and neutralizing part of the final circuit. It was an easy ride in for the Fassa train, and Petacchi put well over a bike length on second-place finisher Erik Zabel, while Bettini took third, regaining the lead in the points and intergiro competitions.

After Saturday’s hill climb, I was a little more prepared for the “Aspenness” of this morning’s crit. Like when I noticed they ran the A Women (these aren’t USCF races, after all) simultaneously with the Veteren Men (35+) Sure, it worked out well for the one chick who could keep pace, but sure wasn’t fair for the two who couldn’t. Or when I went to check-in and they zip-tied a transponder to my fork. I ask “is there a finish camera?” They just look at me and say “No, that’s what this chip is for. Why would be need a camera?” Unbelievable. Head tube angles, chip position on the fork, aero forks, straight blade forks; all these things make this a bad idea. Aspen just further proves my theory that money makes you dumb.

If I had to sum up this entire weekend in a single acronym, it would be “WSM” (Western Slacker Mentality). Let’s start with the Ride for the Pass, an alleged hillclimb race from Aspen to the top of Independence Pass. I declined to actually race this, electing instead to ride with my friend Sam who is a month out of ACL reconstruction. Anyway, I arrived about an hour early. The start line was so dead that I missed it on the drive in. I registered, used the facilities (which were fantastic), filmed a casting call for a Suzuki commercial and picked up my transponder chip. Then I sat around for a while. About 20 minutes before the gun, people started arriving in droves. A massive crowd overwhelmed the chip-dispersal table, with recreational riders cluttering up the racers. People began lining up, and the announcer began counting down to start, even though scores of people had not yet picked up their timing chips. I and an experienced race official approached the announcer.

Parra makes it 2, Basso loses.

Action today! Big break (that got clear!), lots of abandons, attacks and a change in leaders. Savoldelli managed not to bust out on a hot decent and instead flew away on his own coming up the other side while Basso floundered in his wake. Up the road, Ivan Parra took the stage, and made it three wins from non-ProTour Teams in 13 stages. Nice efforts today from Lampre. As I saw it, it was Simoni’s attack (launched by Cunego) that cracked Basso; it’s hard to tell though, since OLN decided that running a “CYCLISM II” ad right as Simoni went would be good journalism.

With arms fully extended, Alessandro Petacchi took the 12th stage of the 2005 Giro. Looking more like his old self, the gentleman sprinter cruised to victory over young gun Paride Grillo (not to be confused with “Il Grillo,” Paolo Bettini) and Isaac “podium” Galvez, whose claim to fame will continue to be crashing World Champion Cipollini out of the 2003 Giro until he finally manages to cross the line in first. Nowhere to be seen was pocket rocket Robbie McEwen, who was unable to insert himself into the silver train, and finished a distant sixth.

Anyone who has so much as wiped their nose with an issue knows that Bicycling magazine is the pulpiest, blandest, most innane piece of tripe in the cycling world; the USA Today of two-wheeled rags. This much is not news. But, bored at work one day, I made the mistake of perusing a recent issue that featured their “Editor’s Choices” in bikes, gear and other things bike related.

Well, so much for Cunego. All the stresses of Lamaze practice and shopping for strollers finally took their toll, as the 24-year-old defending champ lost almost six minutes to stage winner Paolo Savoldelli. History of broken collar bones aside, Il Falco scared the crap out of the moto drivers with his descending ability and escaped with Ivan Basso, who attacked in a grand tour for the first time anyone can remember. The two stayed away, with Savoldelli outsprinting Basso, and Basso taking the pink. The duo cut a swath of destruction that left only 7 riders within 5 minutes of the lead. A notable exception was loudmouthed malcontent Gibo Simoni, who proved he wasn’t entirely full of hot air by losing only 21 seconds on the day. But perhaps the stage’s biggest suprise was alleged one-day specialist Danilo DiLuca, who hung in for fourth, and now sits only a minute back on GC. Keep an eye on DiLuca for the ProTour overall if he keeps riding like that.

Ah, the Giro. Another lazy morning at the office followed by an “oh sh!t, better pick it up or we’re gonna get fired” around 4. And no one loves that panic like Robbie McEwen. Petacchi looked pretty well set up for the stage win, but, damn, that wily Australian sure can finish. Cyclingnews suggests perhaps lead-out man Marco Velo didn’t crank it up high enough before peeling off; if true, this would be the latest in a long line of embarrassing flubs for the silver train, which is currently trying to sell itself as a 5 million Euro package deal. Fassa won’t have to worry about humping the bunk again tomorrow, though, as the Giro finally gets into the mountains. Keep an eye on baby-daddy to-be Damiano Cunego.

This is my new, cycling-specific blog. Complaining about bikes was cluttering up my other blog. I might have time for a real post here tomorrow.