Screw the Tour! How many times can you watch Lance Armstrong make T-Mobile look silly while a group of riders up the road contests the stage and minor GC placings? 7 is too many. Meanwhile, in the heart of Russia, Ondrej Sosenka, a 29-year old Czech, who doesn’t even ride for a ProTour team, demolished Chris Bordman’s 5-year old record, putting in an extra 279 meters. The record now stands at 49.7, just a wee bit over lap below the elusive 50 kph barrier. No word on gear yet, but I’m guessing it was massive - Sosenka rode with enormous 190mm cranks and a super-heavy 3200 kilo wheelset (a pair of Ksyrium Elites weighs in at 1800g), thinking perhaps that the heavier rims would contribute to a flywheel effect. No word on when the UCI plans to ban this, but given that the organization views technological innovation the same way 18th-Century Salem viewed eccentric single women, I’m sure it won’t take too long.

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So I suppose you’re waiting for me to weigh in on how Hincapie’s win shows DC is the weakest team Lance has ever had. Well, I won’t do that today. Until Vino and Basso ripped their legs off on the penultimate climb (after which only Ullrich, Basso and Lance were left), Discovery rode a solid race, and I’ll credit them for that. What I’d like to point out is that Hincapie’s win (the first in the Tour by a rider on a Tailwind Sports-run team whose last name isn’t “Armstrong”) has been waiting to happen for years. Though the popular media likes to shake their head and sigh at the selfless devotion of Lance’s teammates, it’s not unusual to find one or two of them “sacraficing their chances for victory” by riding way up the road.

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Words fail me. Today’s stage was such an overwhelming display of novicetry that my lexicon is seriously at a loss to express it. Let’s run in chronological order.

1) Discovery getting dropped faster than sexual harassment charges on The O’Reilly Factor. I guess that’s not really novicetry, just futher evidence that Disco’s Tour squad just ain’t that good. There was a 15-man group at one point with 1 DC man in it. Lance should never have to go back to get his own bottles.

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Honestly, if Chris Horner and Sylvain Chavanel had spent half as much time pedaling as they did looking over their shoulders, one of them would have had a stage win today. Alas, they were both greedy, and Robbie McEwen triumphed via the Mother of All Leadouts from Fred Rodriguez. Or at least that’s how Paul Sherwin saw it. To the less experienced viewer, it looked like Fast Freddie was trying to win the stage himself. But of course he would never try to slip one over on his teammate like that. I did enjoy the way he celebrated to avoid looking like a loser.

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David Moncoutie slips out of the breakaway, giving France is first stage win of the 2005 tour, giving France a French victory from a French team on Bastille Day, giving France another cold mug of denial to help kill the pain of having not won their own tour in 20 years. In case you were wondering, since Hinault’s win in ‘85, Americans have won 9 times, Spainards have won 6, while Germany, Italy, Denmark and friggin’ IRELAND, fer cryin’ out loud have taken one Tour win a piece.

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Alex Vino took his second TdF win on his second difficult stage with a downhill finish. Keep that in mind for future picks. It was depressing to see Botero trying to match gears with Vinokourov in the finale, when everyone and their mom knew that if Vino didn’t cramp too badly (he was shaking his legs like mad on the descent) Santi had no chance.

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To the uneducated eye, today might have looked like the Disco boys tapping out the old Postal Two-Step (step 1: go really fast, drop everyone else; step 2: Lance attacks.) But careful analysts will note that Lance was forced to ride on his own in a small group for over 10k on the final climb of Courchevel today, outnumbered the entire time by Illes Balears. Not only that, but dropped riders were constantly clawing back on, and both Leipheimer and Basso were able to limit their losses due to Lance’s isolation over the final kilometers.

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The final list of everyone’s tour game picks is listed here. Many riders some of you were counting on have already quit the race. I should also mention that a certain Jens Voigt wore the maillot jaune in 2001, so everyone who said that no one other than Armstrong and Ullirch could possibly score in that category can go pound sand.

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It’s been a big tour for Rabobank. Back to back stage wins, a couple of guys in the Dots, and one who looks like he might stay there; not too shabby, considering the squad has had nothing to show for itself in the grand boucle since Michael Boogerd’s awe-inspiring victory at Les Deux Alps in 2002. Here’s to hoping Michael Rassmussen (formerly known by his nickname “Chicken”) keeps the race interesting through the hills.

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First off, this is awesome.

Remember earlier this week, when Lance was going to win 7 easily, and Boonen was going to walk away with the Green? Man, what a difference a week makes. Lance all alone on the final hill; there were 34 dudes in the group, and only one rode for DC. Ouch. After the stage, Lance said “We’ll have to do some talking tonight.” Remember back in the last week in June, when I said his team this year was the weakest I’d even seen? That might have been the time to do some talking. And Boonen now has a bad back, I’m told - so much for the power of Innergetic mattresses. Too bad about the Robbie relegation, because without it, we’d have a nice three-way battle for points between Boonen, McEwen and Hushovd.

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