Stefan Van-Dijk, apparently unencumbered by his extraordinarily large forehead, broke the ProTour’s stranglehold on the Benelux Tour today, taking a group sprint ahead of two previous stage winner, Disco’s Max van Heeswijk and Simone Cadamuro of Liquigas. Lotto-Davitamon once again carted Tom Steels’ creeking backside to the line, but the 9-time TdF stage winner faded in the final meters for a second straight day, raising questions once again about whether it’s time for the Belgian to follow his old rival Cipo into retirement.

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After yesterday’s way cracked stage of the Benelux Tour, the field was quite happy to let things come down to a nice, simple group sprint, taken once again by Max van Heeswijk of Discovery Channel-Berry Floor. Following a lead out by teammate Roger Hammond, van Heeswijk lept onto the wheel of Tom Steels and easily came around the geriatric Belgian for the win. Meanwhile, in the Vuelta a Burgos, 2003 World Champion Igor Astarloa took a tough stage to San Juan del Monte, showing that, y’know, maybe he should be back on a ProTour squad next season. The luckless Spaniard and 2003 Fleche-Wallone winner missed his beloved Ardennes Classics last spring while Cofidis was suspended from competition during a doping investigation, and later switched to Lampre, but never recovered from the chaos to post any meaningful results.

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Eurosport called it “arguably the most farcical day in cycling history.” With 50k to go, and a break of three riders six minutes up the road, the entire Benelux Tour peleton and caravan drove off-course. The snafu, the result of an absent course marshall, was rectified a few minutes later by local boy and GC leader Rik Verbrugghe, who led the troops over an additional climb and back to the race course. By then, though, Christian VandeVelde, Jason McCartney, and Bart Dockx had andvantage of nearly 15 minutes. Not suprisingly, the break was less than psyched when officials told them to wait so the peleton could catch back up, and only after a policeman physically restrained Dockx (and McCartney stopped to take a dump - most likely in the form of a brick) did the breakaway finally halt. The gap was set to precisely four mintues (for some reason) and the race continued. Needless to say, the break was reeled in, and following attacks by Bobby Julich, Davide Rebellin and other notables, Alessandro Ballan of Lampre took the win.

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In another way exciting finish you’ll never see on OLN, Aussie sprinter Allan Davis of Liberty Seguros lept away from a three man group and soloed 3k to victory on a twisty, rain-slicked finale of Benelux Tour Stage 3. Davis, who is on fine form after a 3rd at HEW Cyclassics last weekend can count the win among his best, and apparently plans to spend the prize money on breast augmentation surgery. The rainy, split-filled day returned the Red Jersey from MVH to prologue winner Rik Verbrugghe, but with tomorrow’s stage being called a “mini-Amstel Gold,” expect a big GC shake-up. Also hot is HEW Winner Pippo Pozzatto, who won today’s Giro del Lazio, filling in for teammate Luca Paolini, who had made the race one of his stated goals, but was unable to finish.

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In a show of tactically senseless aggression heretofore shown only by the likes of Eddy Merckx and Bernard Hinault, Ivan Basso cracked the field on a short but vicious (to the tune of 22%) climb in Stage 3 of the Tour of Denmark and cruised in for his third consecutive win. This winning streak bodes well for Basso’s potential appearance at the T-Mobile Grand Prix in San Francisco this fall, and forces pundits everywhere to view the former climbing/TT specialist in a new light.

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Stage 2 of the the Benelux Tour (BElgium, NEtherlands, LUXembourg, you see) went to Discovery Channel’s Max Vanheeswijk. Hired as a token nod to the fact that like 75% of pro races end in group sprint, Van Heeswijk has had his share of impressive wins in short stage races like this. I’d be nice to see what he could do at a Grand Tour; too bad he rides for Disco.

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So I got out of bed on Sunday with a serious pain in my neck and left shoulder. Judging by the rocks I was picking out of my helmet as I packed up for the ride out, my head did do a fair bit of landing on Saturday. Good thing the course marshals didn’t see it.

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Every time Lance Armstrong wins a tour, scads of sportswriters (generally American sportswriters) spew forth venomous diatribes about how Lance is not the greatest athlete of all time. The strange thing is, I don’t believe anyone out there really insists that he is the greatest athlete of all time. A few misguided souls think he is the greatest cyclist ever, but most of these people are speaking out of ignorance, and I think it’s still general consensus in the cycling world that Eddy Merckx is #1. But I, purely for the sake of argument, will here attempt to reduce Armstrong’s greatness even further; yes, I am going to say that Lance is not even the greatest Tour de France rider of all time.

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Not satisfied to sign every one-day rider on the planet (he just snagged Spanish road champ Manuel Garate), Quick-Step DS Patrick Lefevre seems to have his sights set on throwing together a solid GC threat as well. Not content to wait for Spanish up-and-comer Jose Pecharroman to develop, the man behind Mapei now wants two-time Giro winner Gilberto Simoni, who is slated to leave Lampre at the end of this year, on his 2006 squad. Simoni’s penchant for indignant loudmouthery should help Quick-Step keep the Belgian gossip columnists busy as well; since the departure of Frank Vandenbrooke, the squad has lacked a true source of ridiculous sound bites.

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Baltimore Orioles first baseman Raphael Palmiero has tested positive for steroids. The report, which broke this morning, makes him the biggest name ever to be caught doping in the Major Leagues. Palmiero has been sacked immediately by his club and now faces a two-year suspension, and an additional 2 year ban from MLB after that.

Oh, wait. Palmiero plays professional baseball. So he gets a 10-day vacation and maybe won’t make it into the Hall of Fame now.

Must be rough.

Anyone want to trade my bike for a bat and a bottle of steriods?

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