Well, yet another Tour Down Under is in the books, and for the first time ever, one rider (Simon Gerrans of Ag2r) has held the coveted orange jersey throughout the entirity of the race. Of course, we were pretty sure this was gonna happen yesterday, as the young Australian would have been hard pressed to lose time on today’s 4.5k circuit (but were there 18 laps or 20? The live report says 18, so I’m inclined to go with that.) No, no last-gasp break would steal the glory, as Allan Davis came off Robbie McEwen’s wheel in the final gallop to take his second stage and leave McEwen winless at the TDU (unless you count the “prelude“) for the first time in years. An irrelevant 4th place in today’s finish was taken by Norway’s Thor Hushovd, who seems to have realized that maybe he should do something in this race other than posing for the cameras. He’ll probably blame the lack of results on the fact that Oz was too far for his mommy (scroll down) to fly down and cook his meals.

How about those Aussies? Sure, it’s mid-season in the Land Down Under while the Euros are still shaking the rust off their chains, but going into today’s stage, the GC leader was Australian, along with three of the four (or two of the three, depending on if you count the “prelude”) stage winners. And then today, you get two Aussies on an Aussie team going one-two, while that Australian GC leader (granted, while riding for a French ProTour team, and making excellent use of his teammates) held off an challenge from last years’ winner on the toughest stage of the race. Now I know riders tend to pull performances out of nowhere racing on their home turf, but that’s pretty impressive considering the pedigree of racer at JCTDU. I’m hoping next month’s Tour of California turns out so well for Americans. Maybe it might actually cheer this grump up.

Sorry to miss posting yesterday, but the cell towers in this particular region of New Hampshire seem not to like carrying data calls. What’d I miss? Not much, it turns out, just Allan Davis taking his first TDU stage win after eight years of racing the dang thing. With the GC largely unchanged, some commentators instead noted Davis’ striking figure; I’ll admit it’s nice, but I’m still waiting for the boob job he promised at last year’s Enenco Tour. Today’s race saw another Liberty rider take a win, and set the stage for a nasty showdown between the newly-navy Spaniards, led by last years’ winner Luis Sanchez, and their ProTour associates at Ag2r, headed by current race leader Australian Simon Gerrans, in tomorrow’s decisive stage.

Yes! real racing! None of the this “prelude” crap (with all the yacking Bob Roll’s been doing about his historic crash in ’88, you think they’d have stopped doing this sort of thing by now…), but a full-on, nasty-breakaway, blow-the-race-apart stage one. Dang, my expectations were more than fulfilled. Anyone finishing 20th or worse today is now 12 minutes behind. Also note that the Robbie McEwen is in some serious shape (taking third in a non-sprint out of a long break) with over six months to go before the tour. That’s something Thor “12 minutes down” Hushovd might want to make a note of. Certrainly this will not escape the Norweigan viewing public, as they seem to have have nothing better to do with their four hours of daylight than watch Thor rip it up on the other side of the Earth.

It looks to be another banner year for lens-grinders. My brief jubilation that Quick.Step had darkened their ’06 team kit was crushed today when I realized that Liberty Seguros has done the exact same thing. And I mean exact, right down to the white patches on the shoulder. So get those new perscription glasses now, or you’ll squint yourself blind trying to tell the teams apart before you even reach the Giro. This is proof, folks, that Skull and Bones does not run the world. I mean, how hard would it be for the Bonesman that runs Liberty Mutual to call up whatever Bonesman is in charge of Quick.Step and say “we’re thinking of going with a darker blue next season, so don’t do that.” Clearly, Skull and Bones is not nearly as influential as many people think (though both teams’ new colors do look very familiar…).

Today was the big day for Team T-Mobile, their first presentation in 13 years without Erik Zabel. The squad made up for it by simultaneously presenting their women’s team, perhaps the most groundbreaking of the massive changes in store for the outfit in ’06. Of the 29 men’s riders, 12 are new, though the first thing on everyone’s lips is still Jan Ullrich’s new ‘do (the plural of which would be “‘dos”, not “do’s”, as the headline in that first link would have you believe). To avoid awkwardness, the team got rid of that pesky teammate (search “Steinhauser”) whose sister was being courted by Big Jan, and perhaps in a coy psychological move, they also picked up Eddy Mazzoleni, who, last time I checked, was involved with the sister of Ullrich’s most apparent TdF rival, Ivan Basso. Of course, just so we know the world hasn’t turned completely upside-down, the team is still sponsored to the hilt by Adidas; the soccer company supplies kits, shoes and even deodorant, though apparently no one told Sergei Ivanov (Russian champ, back row) about that last one.

I just lost my whole post. I am quite upset about this. So here is a quick one-paragraph rundown of what I was going to say. Ullrich: fat but still trying for Tour. Botero: dark horse. Presentations: Ceramica and Bouygues. Team kit colors: green is the new blue. Dick Pound: not swayed by riders’ union threats, channels Don King:

“The CPA has misunderstood, misconstrued, misinterpreted and mischaracterized the situation.”

Pound concluded with “Only in America!” but later retracted the statement as he is Canadian. Continuing topic of stupid arguments: Grand Tours asking for UCI approval of Grand Tour Trophy. Approval seems unlikely. Aussie Champs: Rabobank U23 wins race, is denied jersey to due moronic Aussie rules.

January is the season of the pointless, where news is scarce, and inane but unaviodable questions inevitably arise. Questions like “isn’t Phil Ligget too old to wear shorts? Isn’t Tom Boonen a little rich to have such a crappy haircut? Why is Paolo Bettini trying to win Tour of Flanders? Why is the Rider’s Union glorifying Dick Pound’s semi-coherent ranting (scroll down) with the threat of legal action? And why, if the CAS is the highest court for sport arbitration in the world, can Danilo Hondo attempt to strike down its decisions in Swiss civil court? Does this mean we can expect the same from Tyler Hamilton if his appeal comes up short? Why is the TdF starting in London when the French, a cruel and spiteful race, are still PO’d about losing the 2012 Olympics? Why are rumors of a Lance/Sheryl breakup being denied before I’ve even heard them? Should I apply for a job at VeloNews? Why does Ag2r bike sponsor Decathlon think “B’Twin” (scroll down) is a less lame name than “Decathlon”?” *sigh*. I just wish people would start racing bikes again.

First order of business: anonymous commenters, you are now breaking the law so long as I find your posts annoying. You have been warned. Second order of business: bad day for dopers. Danilo Hondo, appealing to the CAS to have his one-year dope ban from earlier this season struck down, instead had it lengthened to two years, despite testimony from doping experts claiming the levels of the stimulant in his bloodstream couldn’t have possibly improved his performance. Perhaps this speedy decision was an attempt to take some of the spotlight off the monumentally slow CAS proceedings in the Tyler Hamilton case. Despite today’s nearly 12 hours of testimony, there is still no word on a possible verdict date, nearly 18 months after Hamilton’s initial positive. Seems almost as if “due process” in doping cases these days comes with a mandatory kick in the nuts as well.

What’s the deal? Why are we quibbling about tats on local hero ‘cross racers? Is this not a pro cycling blog, with the “pro” part carrying a heavy implication of European as well? Onward, then, to across the pond. Surely there must be news by now? Yes! And it’s all team-related. CSC comes through with an interview of Kasper Klostergaard. He might not be very famous yet, but he rides for CSC so he can’t possibly be that bad. T-Mobile tells us that Patrick “Stinky” Sinkewitz has a knee infection, but omits the fact that it unceremoniously dumped (scroll down) Paco Lara from its roster. From Saunier Duval comes word of a new skinsuit and helmet being tested after the team’s Tour of California trip, while Rabobank (scroll down) was recently gussied up for its official team presentation, and Milram (scroll down) is about to be. Heck, just read up on all the squads here.