After an exciting week of racing, the cycling media now turns, as it must, to doping, in the interest of holding the public’s attention. Remember back in August, when l’Equipe came out with the “Armstrong was doping in 1999″ story? Then there was a big fuss between the UCI and WADA, and a lot of finger-pointing about who leaked what info to whom, then, as these things tend to do, it got boring and no one cared anymore. Then yesterday, the UCI announced that after a typically slow inquiry, it had determined that Dr. Mario Zorzolli, a UCI health official handed over 15 confidential samples, knowing full well they’d be used in an anti-Armstrong article. This is interesting, because some months after the story broke, Zorzoli participated in a tete a tete with WADA head Dick Pound over the state of anti-doping in cycling; in the article, the Italian makes no mention of leaking confidential information to members of the media with the intent of discrediting an athlete as being among the UCI’s many control strategies.

So I spent all weekend up in Burlington, after a brief-but-disorienting brewery tour of Vermont. Unfortunately, the display on my iBook broke (again) leaving me unable to post, or to feast on live internet coverage of the weekend’s much-anticipated Belgian smorgasbord. This is a shame, as it seems the racing was pretty good. At Het Volk, Philippe Gilbert of FdJ erased the memory of losing the last classic of 2005 by taking the first classic of 2006. He attacked ferociously and broke clear with 7k to go, never to be seen again – apparently Eurosport considers this “going the distance”. Largely absent from the final shake-outs at The People’s Race was the Quick.Step superteam, but, as so often happens, the next morning’s race from Kuurne to Brussels and back proved an ideal do-over. In 2004, Stephen DeJongh used KBK to make up for Het Volk being snowed out; in 2005, George Hincapie won KBK, absolving Disco for failing to capitolize on haivng three riders in a break of eight with 20k to go; and on Sunday, Nick Nuyens, with a little help from his friends, atoned for Saturday’s mistakes. The biggest loser of the weekend in Flanders? Eh, let’s go with CSC, who still have yet to take a win this season, and who were really looking for something positive. It never came together (scroll to “CSC miss out”).

Sometimes, Belgium makes me wonder. I’ve never been, I’ve never really known anyone from there, but the place is just odd. Like (overlooking the all-white kit before Memorial Day) Tom Boonen’s celebrity – they decided to make him into a meat product and spread salesman after the whole “eat Boonen on first date” deal from last season? I guess there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just kinda strange, you know? And their determination to hold not especially pleasant bike races in anything short of the worst weather. The tenacity there is admirable, but I wonder if Belgian folks have ever considered that maybe this sort of weirdness and persistence, practiced by a few million cycling fans at once, is what drove the reigning World Champ to live in Monaco? (Search “Monaco”.) Of course, Belgium has its advantages, too. One would certainly never find a headline claiming a rider “sprints” to victory in a TT. Speaking of the Tour of California, JJ Haedo won his second dash to the line in today’s stage, this time clowning on none other than Fast Freddy himself. Strong, strong start for the Toyota-United squad, though it’s doubtful the guys in stars and stripes will be giving Phonak and Floyd Landis any challenge for the GC lead.

Ah, that’s better – see this bike? Full carbon, with the weave showing, nice expensive SRM cranks – now that’s a pro ride. Never mind that it weighs 18lbs – you can’t weigh a bike using your eyes, and besides, this same model has to support Dario Pieri’s meaty carriage. Only slightly-built loudmouths like Gilberto Simoni are harried by the stench of weight-weeniedom. Gimme a break – weights glued to the downtube? How about a heavier, longer lasting chain? Or some high-end cable housing? And the fuss with your TT bike (scroll to “race notes”) today – come on man, that’s the most transparent marketing stunt since Terrell Owens’ Sharpie. And VN got Scott USA’s marketing director to explain it? Real solid journalism, guys – was that the most reliable source you could find? How about talking to the fµ¢&ing team mechanic, who’s bloody job it is to put the rig together? And why was it only superstar Simoni’s bike that came up light? This BS won’t fly with anyone other than the knobs producing the show for ESPN 2.

So, what’d I miss by waiting until 2am to post? Interviews, with Bjarne Riis and one of his star pupils, Bobby Julich. Julich’s interview is much more interesting, as the Coloradan reveals his three remaining goals – National Title, maillot jaune and a TdF stage win. Julich was close to a vic in a couple TTs back in 1998, but that was when bikes like this were still cool. Where’s the friggin carbon? My bike’s got as much carbon as this (minus the wheels), and it cost $1300! And this guy’s been on the podium at Worlds. It’s almost as if having a carbon bike doesn’t make you a better rider after all. No, no, that’s just nonsense. Spending more money is obviously the most sure-fire way to improve performance, though my faith in that bit of marketing dogma was shaken twice today, with the revelation that the cheaper PowerTap hubs are initially more accurate than the more expensive SRM cranks. But the world of power meters has always been weird; were you really to need one, someone else would have bought it for you.

Well, I don’t have internet today, thanks to the clowns over at Adelphia, who are currently charging me money so I can be taunted by that one orange light on the bottom of the cable modem that tells me it’s not working. Thankfully, I’ve got dial-up internet via cell phone thanks to the clowns over at Verizon. Unfortunately, it sucks down my phone plan minutes, so I’ll probably publish a better post tonight at 2am, after the ToC stage, when cell calls are free. As it stands now, all I’ve got to write about is yesterday’s Tour of Cali stage. Actually, no, I can report to you all that I’ve been talking with the Toyota-United Team, and the Cervelo TT bikes under Cruz and Baldwin are a result of United simply not making TT rigs at the moment. Team Owner Sean Tucker wanted “the very best” for his squad, and bought some Cervelos. That’s a pretty rousing endorsement for the red and black rigs, almost as rousing as Haedo’s win was for the team’s regular ride.

I never realized I had so many ventriloquists in my readership, but I must, for they are so adept at putting words into my mouth. “Insignificant”? Pshaw, I never called the Tour of Cali that; it’s just not a huge deal. I still found it important enough to stay up until 2am to watch. What I meant to say was conveyed pretty clearly in the rides of Mick Rogers, Mark McCormack, and so many other riders, who seemed more to be out for a good spin than a victory; certainly a contrast to the TdF prologue, where not a brow goes by unfurrowed by lactic acid. The race is not certainly not “rinky-dink” (I did use this phrase) in and of itself, as according to Levi Leipheimer, some riders have been scouting stages (search “recon”), but it will never be a Grand Tour, not while located as it is at the beginning of the season, and with riders and managers alike already yelping about the excess of competition days. It’s a great race for popularizing the sport in America, and for showing that the American peloton can compete on the world stage. But you want the Tour of California taken as seriously as an event that the best riders on the best teams in the world are gunning for, just because it’s on American soil? Who’s being snobby now?

Wow, Tour of California prologue – a week of hype for a mere 5 minutes of racing. And the American (I can’t imagine any foreign riders willing to go all out for a February tune-up race) who came out on top? Levi Leipheimer. He bested that lying dog Bobby Julich, who claimed just a week ago not to have good legs. Former Tour de France (you know, a race that actually matters?) prologue winner Fab Cancellara was the first foreigner in 6th. I know it seems like I’m speaking harshly of the ToC, but it’s not an attempt to belittle it so much as an attempt to keep it at the correct size. Taking a global view of the sport, the only February races that matter are Het Volk and KBK.

What’d I miss? Actually, it turns out not that much. There was a Liberty Seguros team presentation, in which Vino celebrated joining his new team by wearing an entirely different uniform. I know he’s the Kazakh road champ and all, but personally, I feel it’d be better for team unity if he’d tone his kit down just a touch. But anyway, there’s more on Liberty Seguros over at Cycling Revealed; seems Manolo paid a visit to the East Coast this past fall. In terms of racing, I only missed a little stage race and the mini-classic Tour du Haut Var. I’d be super-pumped to gab about the Classic Haribo (it goes off tomorrow), sponsored by the famous maker of gummi candies, but no one seems to be talking much about it. I wonder why that could be?

Oh, Team CSC, what won’t you sell? Ivan’s pedals, Dave’s nutritional supplement, an autographed jersey to check out a tour site, a feature film; heck, over at Competitive Cyclist, you’ve got your name attached to a a crankset, a wheelset and not one, not two, but three frames. Maybe that’s the trick to getting all this press. It sure hasn’t got anything to do with race results, because, unless I’ve missed my mark, you’ve got nothing but excuses from the finish line this season. No, results are definitely not the way to go for attention. Team Unibet has been tearing it up this season, and the only stories they get are updates from the Frank Vandenbroucke soap opera. Still, that didn’t stop the boys in soothing lime green added yet another “W” today, with Carlos Garcia Quesada wrapping up the Ruta del Sol GC. After two losses, Tom Boonen finally snagged the final stage win over Petacchi; though initial reports are sketchy, it may have been a bonified pipping.