Yeah, sure, Oscar Freire won another classic with a bike throw, yadda yadda yadda. But do you think anyone cares about the long, flat and dull Vatenfall Cyclassics? Not with the Landis case still in full swing. After the initial wave of shock and horror passed, the “Believe Tylers” came out of the woodwork, assailing the test with all their might. Lance Armstrong has also come out in support of Landis, prompting Greg Lemond reflexively to do the opposite. The seven-time Tour winner points out that the drug really doesn’t make sense, and he’s not the first to do so.

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Ah, there’s nothing quite like a dope scandal in full swing. I might act educated and self-righteous most of the time, but I’m an unabashed, scandalmongering firebrand at heart. Here’s some info on the T:E test, which is definitely under scrutiny; no one’s ever been convicted by it, though Landis’ sample is extremely irregular (audio). Anyway, in case you still think it matters, Landis says he didn’t do it. He also says he’d understand if you don’t believe him (probably a plain spoken honesty he got from his mom), and that he wants to be “considered innocent until proven guilty”. Fat chance, bro. I really do hope the B sample comes back negative, but in the court of public opnion, there is no second test.

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That was the solution to the aforementioned Clue game, revealed by Phonak after days of speculation. Blogger’s been up and down all morning, so I’ve posted my scathing reaction over at Podium Cafe, where more than a few readers have posted their scathing reactions to me. Anyway, assuming, for gits and shiggles, that Floyd and the Operaction Puerto riders are all guilty; that’s positive team leader number five for Phonak (Camezind, Hamilton, Perez, Gutierrez and now Landis), and the third consecutive Grand Tour with a guilty winner (though, mercifully, the UCI appears to be following its own rules and not threatening to remove Basso’s Giro title).

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Man, I was so glad the Tour was over. Following Landis’ big move on 17, predictability reigned. A breakaway ruled the following day, allowing Quick.Step and Italy to salvage their TdFs somewhat. Floyd put the predicted gaps into the other GC contenders during the final TT, with Gonchar again taking stage honors. Then Hushovd bookended things nicely by winning on the Champs, and finally, that was a wrap. No more Al Trautwig, no more dealing with Lance-slobberers talking about “back in the day”, no more explaining why a breakaway with a 10-minute-lead is no big deal; none of that crap. No more poseur TdF BS - I could finally get back to real cycling races, true pillars of the sport like the HEW Cyclassics and the ENECO Tour, with a full 11 years of racing history between them.

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If I were Jerry Bruckheimer, and you brought me this year’s Tour de France in screenplay form, I would pitch a fit and throw you out of my office, making sure to dismiss you with the requisite “you’ll never work in this town again!” I mean, come on - Floyd Landis loosing and then perhaps winning the entire Tour on consecutive days? Sounds a little far-fetched, don’t you think? But, I am getting ahead of myself.

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I haven’t updated since Stage 12, and what is it, now? Stage 15? Geez, what a slacker. Good stuff to report on, too. On stage 13, Jens Voigt and Oscar Pereiro were the sole survivors from The Break of the ‘06 Tour, with the unflappable German taking the win, and the aggressive Pereiro (who’s shown in the past he’s no pancake in the hills) taking Yellow from the Floyd by over a minute. Assessments on the tactical savvy of losing the GC lead by letting a break cruise home half-an-hour up range from brilliant to blunder, with everything in between. I tend to think any day Jens Voigt wins is a good day, despite the fact that he’s voiced support for a DNA database in the pursuit of doping.

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All right, kiddies, buckle your safety belts. I’ve got 21 tabs open, plus the live report window, so the links will be coming fast and furious. First off: Stage 11. Races like that are why people follow this silly sport. Rabobank looked stellar, stronger than any other team in this race has so far, and were rewarded with a stage win and a true GC contender (too bad his name doesn’t contain an “L” (see the post at 17:38)). Best of all, the whole strategy was ad libbed, and I personally think it’s nice to see a team with an assortment of top level talents (rather than a squad custom designed to win the Tour) function in this way. My only questions for the Rabo Boys (I really shouldn’t call them that) are 1) Is Rasmussen really still a KOM contender, and 2) what’s a “toppie”? Urban Dictionary is no help on this one.

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Yeah, so, on Stage 9, there was an exciting sprint. Oscar beat Robbie. Cipo was on hand. Blah blah blah. Let’s get to some climbing! GC action, right? Uh, no. Long, dull breakaway. Ag2r’s Cyril Dessel gobbled up all the KOM points, miraculously kept pace with Agritubel’s Juan Miguel Mercado over the final climb, and found himself in the yellow jersey. The Spaniard got the stage win to console himself, which probably made the Agritubel folks happy, as they’d made a paltry 1400 euros in prize money to this point. Anyway, the duo finished like 7 minutes up on the field; looks like Cyrille Guimard was right in saying T-Mobile is too weak to control the race.

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American cycling dilettantes, Chris Carmichael dittoheads, and MIT windtunnel geeks, stand forward and be SHAMED. Nothing like watching some old-school Eastern-Bloc stomp his unaerodynamic, head-bobbing authority all over the race at 50-60 rpms. The Stage 7 victory gave Serguei Gonchar both a piece of the fleece, and a chance to clear up the confusion surrounding his name. Or rather, some of the confusion, as Velonews has now added a “t” and ProCycling appears to have missed the memo entirely. Perhaps it’s best for the Ukrainian to keep some ambiguity, lest he find himself starting on defense for the Pittsburg Penguins.

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Well, it’s over 24 hours later and I am still trying to piece together how Oscar Freire won yesterday (check out the video on OLN’s webpage). Marino Basso once commented that Oscar Freire looked like he was asleep outside the month of October (implying that he only rode well at Worlds), but that’s simply not the case. Sure, the guy is injured a lot, but when healthy, his wins come in all sorts of races (Brabantse Pijl, T-A, etc.) and are some of the gutsiest around (his Tour de Suisse bunny-hop, for example). The Stage 5 group gallop yesterday was no exception, with Oscarito (he’s only 5′ 7″) taking off alone from 300m to go on the (riders’) right side of the road, using only the slipstream of the fading Steegmans to accelerate, then pounding away alone like a madman while Boonen jockeyed and Robbie got boxed on the other side of the road; an impressive surge, especially considering the Spaniard is feared for his deadly late charges as well.

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