I realize I haven’t posted in a week, despite the fact that there’s been many things to complain about. I almost got up to tell Hincapie to stop whining about the ENECO Tour finish (or for that matter, to chew out Cyclingnews for calling the race’s pancake parcours “exciting”) but there’s so much other crap that deflates the urge.

“Lost: One large, black, three-ring binder, labeled ‘Operacion Puerto dossier’. Was to be passed to teams, UCI, WADA, etc. this week, but ran into Juan Antonio Samaranch on the Metro & got caught up in
Franco regime nostalgia. Must have accidentally left on seat. If found, please return to Guardia Civil HQ; have been promising evidence since May, fans, media, cyclists, cyclists’ lawyers, etc. beginning to suspect vaporware.” So that, or something like it, is the only explanation I can find for this Puerto delay. All over Europe, the high hopes of crushing this dope ring are falling – Swiss officials have even reopened the Camenzind case, possibly because Jan Ullrich may prove too big a fish to fry on such currently paltry evidence. Renewed allegations are being made against Camenzind’s former Phonak mate Tyler Hamilton (who just won Mt. Washington again). Phonak officials are slapping each other secret high-fives at the news.

Ah, the ENECO Tour. Often cited, in comparison to Paris-Nice, as why the UCI cannot possibly survive without the ASO. And certainly, last year’s race had a few issues. But it’s so far so good, with two stages down. The prologue was Michael Schumacher, one of that mob of Teutonic TT technicians (Lang, Pollack, Rich, etc) that seem bounce endlessly between Gerolsteiner and T-Mobile. But, as so often is the case (outside the TdF), what Tommy wants, Tommy gets. Elsewhere in Europe, Matthias Russ took a classy first win over Andreas Kloden at the Rothous Regio-Tour International (?), while at Tre Valli, Stephano Garzelli redeemed himself somewhat for getting pwned at San Sebastian. And apparently, this race is also important (second billed at Cyclingnews), but damn if I’ve read a word of text on it.

Lots of cycling news out there to report, but I’ve been too busy slacking. I’ll start with the Classica San Sebastian, which was won by complete unknown Xavier Florencio. The Bouygues Telecom rider got the drop on the field by starting the group sprint from way out. I realize the underdog winner is a good story, but precious little attempt has been made to explain how this parcours ended in a 50+ man group gallop. Slow pace? Lackadaisical racing? C’mon – with all the journos out there getting paid to watch this event, can’t anyone just fabricate a reason for me? As far as I can tell, it’s never come down to a group of more than 5 or so. I’m hoping this year’s result won’t panic the organizers into adding another hill at the end, as happened at Amstel after Erik Zabel’s win; a flat finish to hilly classics is almost always exciting.

Yes, yes…it’s been a long week of me not posting. Partially because I’ve been busy, and partially because there really hasn’t been that much to report on. Jens Voigt won the Tour of Germany, capping off a monster August for Bjarne Riis and his boys at CSC. Meanwhile, some have cited Iban Mayo’s recent win at the Tour of Burgos as a sign of resurgence, but as the start list shows, Burgos wasn’t exactly an A-List event. On my side of the pond, Saul Raisin returned to the roads for the first time since his crash, and provided proof that the balance is back. Lance Armstrong got in touch with his inner fratboy, and Erik Dekker, somewhat disappointly, DNF’d his way into retirement. But other than that, nothing of note happend.

Look at this headline: “leaves Levi for dead”? Granted, Jens Voigt’s performance in the last few k of today’s Tour of Germany, in which he hung tough with the leaders up an HC climb, fell off a bit toward the summit, and then battled back to win the stage with a long, agonizing sprint, was a cycling moment to make you forget about stuff like this this, but “left for dead”? C’mon, the CSC Rider only won stage by 2 seconds, and for all the tactical significance that gap has, with just a flat TT remaining, “left for dead” seems a tad bit effusive.

Floyd, man, why you gotta let your lawyer make you look bad? Your boy is talking about how he’s troubled the UCI has “spoken out” about your case? They kept your identity secret until your team broke the news. And then he sounds off about how the B sample “has not been tested? Landis, please; it was your lame ass that held out on having it tested in the first place. How much are you paying this hack, anyway? Look at his previous client list: Tyler Hamilton? Tim Mongomery?? Is that really the future you want? The only doper I can think of who’s still winning races was one of the few to guys to sack up and admit it right away. I feel like that’s probably the best way to go about it; like the lastest ex-pro tell-all, I think the path to less doping starts with the changing the riders, not changing the races.

Ok, Eurosport, you just made my sh!t list. First, you say the Landis results will be in by Monday; then you give me the “oh, it hasn’t be tested yet, but it will be soon, and now we’ll know by Saturday? Weak sauce, man. Though I suppose I should pass on a little blame to Landis as well; I know you don’t have much faith in a B sample exoneration, but jeez, if you’re innocent, why not have it tested right away? You weren’t hoping to hold results off until after the lab’s vacation, were you? At any rate, the NY Times has now confirmed the reports of phoney-baloney testosterone in your pee; FreeFloydLandis may not have given up hope, but I am definitely leaning that way.