The Headlines are Only Boring if You Read Them Somewhere Else

Sep 25 2007

You might think that going missing like I did the past few days would leave me out in the cold on a few news stories. But you’d be wrong. Menchov wins Vuelta? Yeah, didn’t see that coming three weeks ago. Oh, and the Landis verdict? I mean, USADA has never lost a case – Tom Robinson stood a better chance of getting off than accused athletes do. Oh, and bike porn (for reals, yo), with Interbike just getting underway, and Eurobike winding down? Not a shocker.

And while Sanchez’s ascendancy wasn’t exactly expected (at least, not to the height of a Vuelta Podium), and the Abu Dhabi implosion turned a few heads (given cycling’s stability in the historically volatile region), it still was still nothing to stop the presses for. Even the Spanish Federation’s refusal of an obvious and easy solution to the Valverde issue is only surprising if you haven’t been following the sport for the past three years. In times of intractable dullness like these, it’s good to have a blog like mine that goes beyond the headlines.

Beyond the Headline #1: SRAM’s purchase of Zipp was a terrible idea. The armada of overpaid hack riders and triathletes that keeps Zipp’s overpriced, underbuild production line afloat will recognize the SRAM name from *scoff* Mountain Biking and *double scoff* GripShift, and immediately flock to HED for their deep-section fix. Sell your stock now.

Beyond the Headline #2: the dual epiphany has finally dawned finally dawned on professional ‘cross racers – old style canti brakes blow, and UCI-legal alternatives are available. With the departure of the squealing, unadjustable menace, tubular gluing is now the sole arcane practice keeping bicycle mechanics employed. Expect a massive oversupply of unskilled labor in Belgium, resulting to civil unrest and open revolution.

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