So is he supposed to be The Thing? Or The Incredible Hulk? Neither seems particularly conducive to being a cyclist, or particularly linked to Vino’s personality—The Thing was part of a team and relied on the abilities of three other superheros, and Bruce Banner, the Hulk’s initial human form, is a brilliant physicist.

I suppose one could take Vino’s muttery press conferences as the quiet, intentional reserve Banner shows when not hulked out. Other than turning green, Vino’ does have many Hulk-like attributes on the bike—but it’s hard to imagine someone as smart at Bruce Banner continuing to insist he never doped.

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The Vuelta is close enough that you can almost taste it—and not a moment too soon. Cycling fans have been getting antsy with the second tier events.

The Classics hand off so nicely to the Giro, and then June splinters into a largely two-tiered Tour warm-up—Dauphine or Suisse. July is sensation, but afterwards, cycling wanders Europe like a bunch of hungover Freshmen on Saturday morning.

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This has got to be a troll post. It strains my rural-bred credulity to think that a legitimate news source like Slate could produce a video so rife with misconceptions, and yet so utterly devoid of the information that people buying “Urban Euro Bikes” really ought to know.

Let’s start with equating weight and durability. In the timeless words of Keith Bontrager, “Strong, light, cheap. Choose two.” For the nearly $1200+ price tag of each of these bikes, I can build up an old hardtail that will take the Pepsi Challenge against these machines in any urban environment, and tip the scales at roughly half the weight.

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I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it from so many sources: Alexandre Vinokourov, aka Vino-4-Ever, is not only back racing, he’s riding for the same Astana team that Lance Armstrong and Alberto Contador struggled for control of this summer, under the very same same director that struggled to control them.

Not only that, but Vino’ will be present at the Vuelta, and from the looks of Astana’s line-up, leading the team in the GC hunt.

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Revenge season. That’s what I’d call this time of year. Get a little too skinny, and suddenly, some rain and a little hill is just too much to take.

Long seasons take a toll. Mark Cavendish may indeed be growing weary after a season of winning pretty much everything—he, too, was shaken out from the Tour of Ireland finale, while those toiling in the shadows, waiting for their moment, pounced.

Battered, season-long contenders can take inspiration—and occasionally share in a wins—from their teammates, but for the most part, this is the moment for riders to make up for misfortune.

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Garmin-Slipstream, presented by Chipotle. Who else out there is excited to see them in the driver’s seat at ENECO? Sure, it’s a second-tier ProTour event, likely backed a little harder than it ought to be by the UCI because it’s a non-Grand Tour-owned race, but hey—race leader, two stage wins, Brad Wiggins “layin’ back in the cut” as the kids used to say—that’s solid.

Of course, you could be all Debbie Downer about it, and point out that neither Cav, nor the ever-pinballing Petacchi, nor Hushovd nor a banged-up Robbie McEwen is there to battle Farrar for stage wins. Oh, sure, Boonen’s around, but he hasn’t done jack since winning Roubaix, and then there was that other thing, and well, just look at this photo.

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Brad Wiggins is a forgetful guy. First off, he obviously misplaced his Garmin-Slipstream aero lid, and was forced to pair his Robin’s Egg and Creamsicle Argyle skinsuit with an obviously uncomplimentary Union Jack helmet.

His resulting detention by the fashion police doubtlessly cost him the stage (he was only :02 out), but the Brit seemed pleased enough with the performance—apparently he also forgot that he’s really, really good at racing for roughly four kilometers.

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(This post badly misrepresents the difference between Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay’s 100m times. The actual difference is closer to 1%)

This past weekend, Usain Bolt ran 100 meters in 9.58 seconds —by far the best time ever recorded. The performance makes Bolt faster than any other man in history by a full 10%*—roughly the same margin by which Mark McGuire eclipsed Roger Maris’ single-season home run record in 1998.

Don’t take this post as incendiary—I’m hoping as fervently as possible that Bolt’s performances come with no asterisks. I’m just here to point out the fairly easy ride he’s getting.

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Ah, back from a relaxing weekend of stage racing at the Tour de Millersburg. While I’m not a fan of 3/4 fields—I should have just done the P/1/2/3 race and taken my beating—the event is fun, supremely well-organized, and enjoys a ton of community support. Well-worth the long ride down from Boston; if you’re closer than that, it’s a must-have for next year’s schedule.

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What’s Lance’s deal lately? Spreading scurrilous rumors about truncated April Vueltas. Everyone knows that the rain—or snow, as the case may be—falls mainly on the plain in the Low Countries until at least May.

Would the UCI seriously want to restart its proxy war with the Grand Tour organizers by shortening the Vuelta to 14 days? Even with a retooled (and presumably ProTour-backed) Coors Classic to fill the gap, I doubt that’s a power move the UCI is willing to make—at least until the results of the Tour of Cali/Giro d’Italia showdown are in.

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