So is he supposed to be The Thing? Or The Incredible Hulk? Neither seems particularly conducive to being a cyclist, or particularly linked to Vino’s personality—The Thing was part of a team and relied on the abilities of three other superheros, and Bruce Banner, the Hulk’s initial human form, is a brilliant physicist.

I suppose one could take Vino’s muttery press conferences as the quiet, intentional reserve Banner shows when not hulked out. Other than turning green, Vino’ does have many Hulk-like attributes on the bike—but it’s hard to imagine someone as smart at Bruce Banner continuing to insist he never doped.

Brad Wiggins is a forgetful guy. First off, he obviously misplaced his Garmin-Slipstream aero lid, and was forced to pair his Robin’s Egg and Creamsicle Argyle skinsuit with an obviously uncomplimentary Union Jack helmet.

His resulting detention by the fashion police doubtlessly cost him the stage (he was only :02 out), but the Brit seemed pleased enough with the performance—apparently he also forgot that he’s really, really good at racing for roughly four kilometers.

So Ag2r, perennial also-ran at the Tour de France, has announced a new jersey for this year’s edition of the Grand Bouclé. Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at the printers, but through my European contacts, I’ve managed to get a copy of the actual jersey the team will be using this June:

If you’re curious, the font is Proxima Sans Medium, but Gill Sans MT Bold is a passable (and free) stand-in.

This is why George Hincapie will never win Paris-Roubaix.

It might be OK if George were banking on his toughness to hock Carhartts or Dickies or a similar hard-wearing, blue collar brand. But multiple lines of fashionable, designer jeans—sold at the Dura-Ace price point of $145 a pair?! For shame.

Look at Johan Museeuw. More specifically, look at his hair. This is a man who’s won Paris-Roubaix three times, and clearly, fashion is not his native tongue. Roger deVlaeminck, who’s won PR more times than anyone, ever, was known as The Gypsy—not exactly a ringing endorsement of his choice in clothing.