I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of Norwegians telling me what to think.

Take Thor Hushovd getting his knickers in a twist because of the local support Alberto Contador has received since his positive dope test. Just because most of his fans are too busy being employed to flood into the streets is no reason for the reigning world champion to be bitter.

And then there’s the head of the Norwegian cycling federation saying that his counterparts in Spain won’t give Contador proper scrutiny. First, other nations haven’t exactly been stringent, and second, hasn’t dumping the blame for the world’s cycling problems on Spain gone out of style yet? McQuaid’s been on that gripe for almost four years now.

There was something eerily familiar about the suddenness which with Cervelo Test Team’s and Garmin-Transitions’ fortunes changed just before the Vuelta. The sneak attack, the telegraphic language in the press releases, and the valiant counter-strike—like something from a half-remembered dream in my Internet Youth.

Contains graphic elements possibly inspired by works from Flickr user Nathalie 05, ZumaPress, Picasa user Jonathan S, Sirotti, John Pierce, Cervelo’s website, and of course, Zero Wing

[background information, if this makes no sense]

This isn’t my best work, but considering the source material—audio from the Nike US Postal documentary The Road To Paris, an old RadioShack mobile phone ad from 1990, and a brief clip from Floyd Landis’ Nighline interview—it’s not too awful.

I’d hoped to scrape some more goodies from The Lance Chronicles, but Floyd and the radios just don’t come up all that much.

Some blame should also go to @mmmaiko for coming up with the idea (kinda).

Obviously I couldn’t keep off this one—not the way the Internet exploded following Renshaw’s ejection. It wasn’t entirely an otherwise unremarkable stage, but most of this focuses on the final few meters.

[click for iPad/iPhone/downloadable version]

[Contains, in order of appearance, footage from Eurosport, Versus and NOS, and still photos from Graham Watson, Pascal Pavan, Eric Gaillard, Lauren Rebours and Fotoreporter Sirotti.]

I said almost immediately—and have the audio to prove it—that I thought Renshaw would get relegated for closing the gate, but I think the race jury wanted some way of punishing Cavendish for the actions of his leadout man, and so bumped Renshaw from the race. The Aussie’s been fantastic all Tour long—it’ll be interesting to see how things shake out without him.

(click through for something resembling an explanation)

A little TdF preview for you, since the action in the early going is driven largely by the sprinters, and we be especially tightly scrutinized after the tremendous crash at the Tour de Suisse.

The UCI’s rules on what it is and isn’t ok to do in a sprint are both poorly-written, and enforced in a less-than-literal fashion. Drawing on some notable sprint rulings of the past decade, this How The Race Was Won examines exactly what you can and can’t get away with in the final rush to the line.

I’ve been doing a little video work on some sprinting footage ahead of the Tour de France. I’ve looked through the Cavendish crash more times than I care to remember, but I still cannot get over the break Juan Antonio Flecha catches as the race just dissolves in front of him.

Here’s a quick video analysis to brighten up your Friday:

(right-click for iTunes download, tap for iPod/iPhone/iPad)

Ever since I began the making How The Race Was Won videos, my propensity for mispronunciation has become more and more embarrassing.

In many ways, it’s not my fault—well over 90% of the information I consume on the sport comes from web text, which doesn’t do a great job of conveying linguistic nuance. In the rare instances when I do get access to an Anglophone talking about cycling in English, it’s usually Phil Liggett, who’s been known to maul a surname or two.

Finally! The race formerly known as Dauphine Libere gets a rundown, focused almost entirely on the L’Alpe du Huez stage. It’s too bad, really—there were some great finishes on the other days, but stage races are tricky to video summarize like this.

[right-click for iTunes-compatible download, tap for iPad/iPhone]

Much of the delay was due to some major changes to production, including a better microphone and higher-quality source material. Ostensibly, the video is from Eurosport, but I think we all know there’s at least one intermediary involved. Still images, freely-licensed when available, are attributed in this list of sources.

No public figure in recent memory has been more well-managed under scrutiny than Lance Armstrong. Sure, hero status gives him a leg up, but there’s real brilliance in how his inner circle handles accusations; on every battlefield he’s fought, Armstrong has always made the issue his accusers, and not their accusations. I’ve compiled a fun little chart to illustrate the point:

(click image for larger sizes, buy a wall poster, full list of sources)