Pro Cycling News -Moratorium Declared on Stories Involvling Words "Basso," "not" and "Giro"

Alright, kiddies; today’s post is going to be something of a cycling news bouillabaisee, so read slowly and hold on to your butts. First item of importance: Cyclocosm is declaring a unilateral moratorium on reporting that Ivan Basso is not doing the Giro. I think the world freakin’ gets it, already. You know, it was news when I made fun of Eurosport for being like “Basso might not race,” after Bjarne Riis had said “Basso won’t race,” it was funny when Velochimp made fun of everyone for being like “hey, you hear the news that Basso won’t rac the Giro?”, but this (scroll down) is getting (scroll down) ridiculous (scroll down). Everyone who cares, already knows. Don’t the big cycling news organizations mine the blogosphere for stories and fresh opinions? Honestly, if this page were The Drudge Report and cyclingnews were CBS, someone would have been fired by now.
Moving right along, there appears to be trouble brewing (scroll down – again) on the new Milram team. Despite earlier reports that “y’know, it’ll be cool, having two top-level sprinters on the team. Petacchi, will get the Giro, Zabel the tour,” Petacchi’s new ambitions (which sound about as legit as Brad McGee’s Grand Tour hopes did) might upset this balance. I’m just astounded that only one dude was able to pick up on this. I must have gotten too worked up ripping into Dick Pound. Whatever, man; Pound, you still suck.
In case you’ve been on Mars for the past decade, in a cave with you eyes shut, and your fingers in your ears, Lance Armstrong hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend. Though the performance wasn’t very funny, cyclingnews’ washed-out pictures of a TV screen are absolutely hilarious. Hey, guys, it’s called TiVo. How do you think folks got all those shots of the “wardrobe malfunction” on the internet mere seconds after it went down. Anyway, point is, Lance, not that funny. Dave Z, on the other hand, is way droll. So for those among us who’d rather not pay the $35,000 clams to get dropped by Lance (un-funny), there’s an online auction to ride with DZ (funny) here.
And to close out the post, we’ve got this post at Velogal, that reports the Tyler Hamilton IMAX movie from the ’03 Tour is coming out soon. Thing is, on the movie poster, they seem to have replaced Tyler Hamilton with Jimmy Casper. Now, I know Tyler’s not the most handsome guy on earth, but Casper’s not exactly Brad Pitt, either. I don’t see why they’d swap the…oh yeah, that doping thing. Guess the filmmakers weren’t swayed by the whole “vanishing twin” dealie. But hey, you never know, the case is, after all, still pending.