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Ted King: American Hero

Posted on 6 August 2009 by cosmo

C’mon—who gets this kind of attention just for getting lucky and leading intermediate sprints competition at a fly-by-night stage race like Burgos? The racer himself said it was all of 45 minutes work.

Is just being an American seriously all it takes to get the glamor shot on Velonews?
ted_king

Thing is, people, Ted King isn’t just any American. He was there from the beginning:
ted_crossing_delaware

And it’s a little-known fact he was Roosevelt’s mole behind the Iron Curtain when the Big Three met at Yalta:
big-ted-yalta

In the Star Wars Ultimate Revised Director’s Cut Edition Redux (due out 2017), we’ll all learn who the real hero at the Battle of Yavin was:
battle-of-yavin

Though it’s anyone’s guess as to who will replace Obi-Wan in the final Blu-Ray release:
three-jedi

thoughts on “Ted King: American Hero”

  1. Jack Daniels says:
    6 August 2009 at 7:05 am

    Hahahaha, just brilliant.

    Reply
  2. Thure says:
    6 August 2009 at 9:00 am

    Hands down, THAT was funny !

    Reply
  3. Nickel says:
    6 August 2009 at 11:08 am

    Brilliant stuff – so funny and true it almost hurts!

    Reply
  4. iamtedking says:
    6 August 2009 at 11:16 am

    I’m flattered!

    Reply
  5. gait_analyst says:
    6 August 2009 at 12:36 pm

    I think Alec Guinness is checking Ted out in that last image.

    Reply
  6. Sophrosune says:
    6 August 2009 at 1:56 pm

    The 31st annual edition of a stage race hardly makes it into a fly-by-night operation. Let’s see one US-based event that goes on for 30 consecutive years and then you can be smart-mouthed about the smaller European stage races.

    Reply
  7. Adam Myerson says:
    6 August 2009 at 2:41 pm

    I love that Teddy even commented!

    But seriously, who doesn’t love Ted King and root for him? He’s the nicest guy on the planet, and he’s easy to root for. There’s a rule we call the “Hekman Rule” that also applies to Ted. When Hekman wins, everyone’s happy. His teammates, guys on other teams, girlfriends of guys on other teams – everyone. People are just always happy for him. Ted’s like that, too.

    VN usually goes on and on about the Boulder mafia. Let them gush over Teddy if they want to. It’s a nice change of pace.

    Reply
  8. cosmo says:
    6 August 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Any perceived consternation that Ted King is grabbing headlines is strictly tongue in cheek. I just wanted to play with Photoshop.

    Reply
  9. Lauren G. says:
    6 August 2009 at 5:16 pm

    Wonderful!

    Reply
  10. fasterthanyou says:
    26 August 2009 at 12:33 am

    Sophrosune,

    The Fitchburg Longsjo Classic just celebrated its 50th year. It happens to be one of the longest running stage races in the US. Boom. Roasted.

    Reply

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About the Author

a headshot of Cosmo Catalano

Best known for his How The Race Was Won® video series, Cosmo Catalano began blogging about pro cycling from a bike shop in 2005. Between then and now, he's designed cycling infographics, built cycling web apps, and supplied cycling content to print and broadcast media, all in the name of backing up his near-endless criticism with proof that it can be done better. He complains about cycling on Twitter at @Cyclocosm.

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