Pound, McQuaid Flaunt Job Security; Valverde Rumors.

Jan 10 2007

Things are booming in the idiot business, and these days, there’s no shortage of work. Dick Pound, a sort of Google among the intellectually lacking, has been on a media blitz recently. Why the Canadian wants to parade his reckless impartiality and complete lack of technical knowledge to the general populace so close to the conclusion of the Floyd Landis case is beyond me; that having been said, I don’t really know much about being an idiot, either.

Not to be outdone, UCI president Pat McQuaid wandered over to the Netherlands and pinched off these delightful loaves:

“There is a clash going on at the moment between two cultures, the Anglo-Saxon and what I might call the mafia Western European culture…The Western European Culture is a culture that has to some extent – I won’t say condones doping and cheating practices – but because of their culture in life, because of the way they deal with everything else in life they accept certain practices…”

“The Anglo-Saxon [approach], which would be here [the Netherlands], it would be Germany, the United Kingdom, Denmark – is the complete opposite…it is very important that at the end of the day the Anglo-Saxon approach wins out – because if it doesn’t, then the sport is doomed.”

McQuaid went on to add that at least cycling wasn’t forced suffer many athletes from the “inferior races”, who, being so like animals, would force the more perfectly-evolved “Anglo” nation riders to dope.*

While reaction from this side of the pond has been sharp, direct and unanimous, the fact that McQuaid hasn’t been unceremoniously sacked essentially proves the UCI condones racism. Which, I suppose, shouldn’t come as a surprise, since Dick Pound’s continued employment has demonstrated time and time again that the cabal of tottering crackers in charge of international sport hates justice as well.

As if you needed more evidence of this, allegations implicating Alejandro Valverde in Operacion Puerto are just now surfacing after six months of investigations. I’m told the Puerto portfolio has over 500 documents, but c’mon – I’ve seen three year olds read faster than that. The timing of the announcement also raises eyebrows, as it follows rumors that Valverde may be switching from a “mafia” team, Spain’s Caisse D’Epargne, to T-Mobile, of “Anglo” Germany. At this point, the only level-headed man left in Europe seems to be Erik Zabel. Of course, with this hair-cut, how could he not be?


 

*(update 9 Feb 2012) This paragraph is a sarcastic, fictional continuation McQuaid’s reasoning, intended to highlight its prejudice and absurdity, and contains no actual quotes from the UCI President. The blockquote text above, however, is preserved verbatim from the now-defunct source article at Eurosport.

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5 Responses to “Pound, McQuaid Flaunt Job Security; Valverde Rumors.”

  1. sox January 12, 2007 at 10:30 pm #

    Germans? Germans? He’s kidding, right? Or must we revisit the days of proud German lady swimmers at the Olympics with balls growing out of their chests?

  2. eben January 16, 2007 at 12:05 am #

    I really don’t think the balls were growing out of their chests. eben

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