Happy News Only Today

Recent news has got me in the mood to sell off everything I own for a one-way ticket to Europe and a pair of brass knuckles, with intentions to make dentists in Paris and Aigle very, very rich. So today, the goal is to only report on stories that make me happy. I’m guessing it’ll be a short post.

Jimmy Casper earns props for sticking it to the man and winning a race in Belgium, where his team Unibet.com may or may not be legal. Honestly, Casper’s been the butt of so many jokes over the years that it’s cause for celebration every time he wins a race, regardless of what jersey he’s wearing.

Jose Joaquin Rojas won the first stage at the Tour of Murica. Apparently, there was this one really slippery patch of pavement at 500m to go that pretty much everyone else went down on. I’m sure it was miserable for the riders, but since I didn’t see it, it kind of plays back in my head with cartoony sound effects, and so, in a sick, schadenfreude kind of way, makes me happy.

Tom Boonen has said that he’s impressed with Daniele Bennati’s riding this year. This is good because I like to see new faces duke it out in the sprints, but one should also keep in mind that Tom likes to pick odd rivals. Back in ’05, Boonen slapped the favorite tag on Stijn Devolver for Flanders and Roubaix. This tagging of dark horses may be a little Boonen psych-job, or it might be genuine respect (Devolder did rip Boonen’s legs off in the ’05 version of KBK, paving the way for Hincapie’s win). Either way, having cause to contemplate the inner machinations of Tornado Tom makes me smile.

Let’s see – not gonna talk about Botero, not gonna talk about Jaksche; definitely not gonna talk about the UCI signing off on CSC guarding its own henhouse. Roadcycling.com is back online…nah, that’ll just get me angry, too. Ah, here we are – pretty bikes. I’m only going to look at the pictures, though, as some hippie has proposed yet another fruitcake MTB wheel standard. And you can guess what that makes me feel like doing…