All Other Countries Have Inferior Potassium

Aug 22 2007

Remember how Kazakhstan invited Sascha Cochen to visit, to show the actor how the country actually was? Or how they blocked access to his website because they felt the Borat character was so unrealistic? Well, someone apparently forgot to pass the “Kazakhstan is not backward” memo along to the sports ministry, as now the Kazakh cycling federation is claiming that Kashechkin has tested negative. In what test this result came about was not mentioned explicitly.

While Team Astana’s spokesperson shrugged cluelessly, Nikolai Proskurin, Kazakh cycling federation president, claimed, while never specifying how, that the tests of Kashechkin were “erroneous”, that Kashechkin is currently preparing his defense, and that Andreas Kloden has no intention of quitting the Astana Team. In fact, the German will be co-leading Astana at next month’s Vuelta a Espana, which, as luck would have it, the team has been re-invited to. High five! Proskurin concluded the interview by noting that all other countries have inferior potassium.

Returning to reality for a moment, the people who actually carry out dope tests have admitted that maybe there’s a little room for tweaking how the ProTour works after all. It’s a good plan, as some prefabbed ProTour races (such as the currently running ENECO Tour) are struggling to draw fans and competitors alike, though Tyler Ferrar’s 4th place in today’s prologue won’t hurt American audiences. As he’s only 3 seconds out of the lead, let’s not forget, the American is a solid sprinter.

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2 Responses to “All Other Countries Have Inferior Potassium”

  1. Sebastian 22 August 2007 at 2:58 pm #

    I knew this particular line had to come up sooner or later in this context. Thanks for breaking the ice!

    Regarding the ProTour: it seems like there are enough important, established races in western Europe for them not to need to make up new ones like Eneco, the TTT, etc. The only really good rationale for including newfangled races would be to expand top-level cycling’s territory — the Tour Down Under or the Tour of California.

  2. Damien 22 August 2007 at 6:02 pm #

    Reading the whole “Kashechkin’s blood test was negative” story was like entering the Twilight Zone. It seems that every time a Kazakh cycling official opens his mouth it’s only to exchange feet. I had to go over this story a couple of times, particularly the bit about Kloden’s chances at the Vuelta!

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