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Cycling Organization Press Release Generator

Posted on 30 January 20137 July 2021 by cosmo

This form broke a few years after publication, and in July 2021 I disabled it completely. May it serve as a reminder producing spoofed content was once considered funny.

I had some thoughts on cycling—on the honest-to-goodness racing of bicycles—earlier this week. But dang if I didn’t get a little distracted by the bellowing and harrumphing of bands of lawyers as they debated, at a micrometer level, whose client had the more impressive virile organ.

And you know, it could almost be passable fodder for drama if the various parties involved weren’t so irretrievably bad at finding engaging, creative ways to tell each other to screw off. Their press releases are routinely so terrible that there isn’t a cycling fan left who hasn’t thought “man, even I could do this better”.

Well, now you can: introducing the Cycling Organization Press Release Generator. Chose your combatant, craft a headline and press release, and get your very own, permalinked article displayed—in very convincing fashion, I might add—for the whole Internet to see. I’ve put together one or two, to demonstrate the potential lulz.




Convince the irritating robot to like you:

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Always fun to try an infer exactly what the plans Always fun to try an infer exactly what the plans are at criteriumdudauphine. #prettyseriousbikeracing agrees jumbovisma_road and jonasvingegaard have made their presence felt, but still no consensus what the over-arching plan might be.
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🎥: Eurosport
🔈: escapecollective (#linkinbio)
#cycling #procycling #criteriumdudauphine #dauphine #dauphinelibere #stagerace #podcast #cyclingpodcast #escapecollective #psbrp #bikeracing #wielrennen #ciclismo
It’s not often they start the presentations with It’s not often they start the presentations without you, but huge respect to donavan_grondin for gutting it out to finish solo, over 22 minutes down, make the time cut, and even keep the KOM lead.
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🎥: Eurosport
#cycling #procycling #dauphine #criteriumdauphine #podiumpresentation #leadersjersey #uciwt #wielrennen #ciclismo #kingofthemountain #oneofthesethingsisnotliketheother #stagerace #komcompetition #mountainsclassification #bestclimber #respect
runeherregodts lit the field up with a sneakily ef runeherregodts lit the field up with a sneakily effective late attack on Stage 1 of criteriumdudauphine. It took jumbovisma_road going all-in to get a nail-biting finish, but I can’t help but wonder—how easily could it have gone the other way?
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🎥: Eurosport
#cycling #procycling #stagerace #criteriumdauphine #uciwt #dauphine #chambonsurlac #lateattack #cyclingattack #breakaway #dontlookback #wielrennen #ciclismo
Big Gravel spends millions on marketing hype to co Big Gravel spends millions on marketing hype to cover up the truth about their sport. This is the real story of how gravel racing was born, based on facts.
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🎥: raisport (via YT, #linkinbio)
#cycling #procycling #gravelracing #gravel #gravelcycling #spiritofgravel #gravelbike #unboundgravel #giroditalia #grandtour #stagerace #groads #giro2005 #notinkansasanymore #somewhereovertherainbow #grassel #biggravel #roadracing #roadcycling
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About the Author

a headshot of Cosmo Catalano

Best known for his How The Race Was Won® video series, Cosmo Catalano began blogging about pro cycling from a bike shop in 2005. Between then and now, he's designed cycling infographics, built cycling web apps, and supplied cycling content to print and broadcast media, all in the name of backing up his near-endless criticism with proof that it can be done better. He complains about cycling on Twitter at @Cyclocosm.

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